Tales from the Rural Patrol

(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)

Sunday, Aug. 7
*A resident in the 200 block of Josephine Street claimed that a trespasser was “out of his mind” at 10:47 p.m. When contacted by Josephine County Sheriff’s Office (JCSO) via speakerphone, the vagrant identified himself as Gligor Gligorovic before pedaling away on his bicycle.

Monday, Aug. 8
*A Peter Pan in the 400 block of Piller Place was concerned about his missing Play Station 4 gaming console at 9:18 a.m.
*A gal in the 100 block of Hathaway Drive complained that her door was kicked in, and that her service dogs were kidnapped by JCSO. Gina Marie Marshall was cited to appear at Josephine County Circuit Court (JCCC) Sept. 8 for a felony warrant from JCSO for conservation charges. Marshall also had a misdemeanor warrant for possession of a domestic animal.

Tuesday, Aug. 9
*At 9:49 a.m. a citizen in the 38500 block of Redwood Hwy. was concerned that her neighbor planted oleander because it is poisonous to her goats.
*A motorist noticed two guys assaulting another in the 5100 block of Dick George Road at 10 a.m. The victim said it was a road rage incident with two nerds from out of town. When the witness arrived, they slithered off in a brand-new white Jeep Cherokee or Mercedes G Wagon with no license plates.
*At 4:07 p.m. a jerk in the 500 block of S. Redwood Hwy. was screaming obscenities at a woman because he thought she fed grease to his dogs.
*A green 1996 Nissan pickup truck broke down, so the owner left it parked at a friend’s house in the 17400 block of Redwood Hwy. At 6:50 p.m. her buddy woke from a nap and noticed the vehicle was gone. A report was filed for unauthorized use of vehicle (UUV).

Wednesday, Aug. 10
*A Kenwood speaker, TV, box of tools, and a gallon of iced tea were missing from the 400 block of Piller Place Aug. 8. The speaker was recovered from a teepee, but there were no signs of the tools, TV, or tea.

Thursday, Aug. 11
*Anthony Michael Eller was detained in Josephine County Jail (JCJ) following his arrest in the 24300 block of Redwood Hwy. at 1:47 p.m. Eller had a warrant from JCSO for parole violation for possession of controlled substance (PCS) meth, and Grants Pass Department of Public Safety (GPDPS) held a felony warrant for failure to appear (FTA) for second-degree burglary and third-degree theft.
*A flat-screen TV and other items were stolen from a home in the 7100 block of Deer Creek Road at 2:41 p.m.
*Andrew R. Giddens had a misdemeanor no-bail warrant from Mulnomah County Sheriff’s Office for patronizing a prostitute. Giddens was apprehended near Eight Dollar Mountain Road at 4:06 p.m. and detained in JCJ.
*A young boy, 7, was bitten in the face when he tried to kiss a friend’s dog at 6:14 p.m. in the 2500 block of Rockydale Road.
*A kind soul offered a naked woman a blanket, even after she was caught rummaging through his car in the 24900 block of Redwood Hwy. at 7:45 p.m. Shannon Leeann Petersen was detained in JCJ due to two JCSO warrants for third-degree theft, unlawful entry to motor vehicle (UEMV), and two counts of second-degree criminal mischief.

Friday, Aug. 12
*At 4:48 p.m. a chap in the 2700 block of Lakeshore Drive was frustrated with vehicles speeding past Lake Selmac, so he proclaimed that he was going to throw rocks at their cars and/or chase them down. He was advised to keep his hands and his rocks to himself, and JCSO would provide extra patrol to the area.

Saturday, Aug. 13
*A fellow in the 200 block of Martin Road figured that ‘tweakers from Peoples’ Park” were trapped under his porch, so he armed himself with a 300 blackout AR15 at 5:18 a.m. He was convinced that they were so scared, they were shaking his house. He phoned 911 again at 7:09 p.m., so the cellar-dwellers must not have been that frightened.
*Joshua Scott was arrested for restraining order violation at 7:14 p.m. in the 100 block of E. O’Brien Street. Scott was being transported for a medical condition, so he was cited and released to appear at JCCC Sept. 8.
*At 8:04 p.m. a character with red hair and a split tongue told folks that he was a Satan worshiper. After he left, they discovered that their tires were slashed at Ring Creek Beach near Illinois River Road.