(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)
Aug. 17
*Brian Vandussen was stopped for traffic violations. Upon further investigation Vandussen showed signs of impairment. After field sobriety tests were completed, he/she/they were taken into custody for Driving under the influence of intoxicants, reckless driving.
*For some reason John Dewitt was pulled over and cited for driving while suspended. He might be in a little trouble as he was told to contact his probation officer.
Aug. 18
*It took him awhile to remember his name but eventually Noah J. Reyeylts got it right. While having a felony warrant Reyeylts thought it was a great idea to drive a moped without a license plate while pulling a trailer with no tail lights. What could go wrong right? When asked for identification the Rhodes Scholar provided multiple false names before providing his correct name. His reward for figuring out his real name, additional charges for providing false information.
*Isaac Eberle slept off his fun night at the sobering center after being cited for driving under the influence of intoxicants an reckless driving.
*This was all over the place, bear with me. Pickle ball players, horseshoe pits, three dogs one, one named “Named?” One threat to shoot a dog and no wounds on a small white dog. All this and then some resulted in one citation for K9 as a public nuisance.
*Somebody got a ticket for 80 in a 55 on 199.
Aug. 19
*Gabriel Sandlin was seeing demons and other hanky stuff. So his sister dropped a dime on him as he had a warrant.
*Rooster aka Joseph Ainsworth was picked up for two warrants
*His name was left off the report, must be due to being “honest and cooperative, has insurance, arranged for someone to pick up the vehicle.” Mr. Nice Guy was cited for driving while suspended
Aug. 20
*A white Honda Civic stolen from Crescent City was recovered. Phia Teao was charged with unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and possession of a stolen vehicle.
*Someone was issued a citation for an unlicensed K9. 6 dogs gone wild were menacing the neighborhood. Trying to jump into cars and onto the hood of one. Good fences make bad dogs better neighbors.
*An unnamed driver was cited for driving while suspended.
*Warrant Wednesday continues as Carly Jenson was picked up on a possession of meth warrant.
*Not sure what Greg is feeding his dogs but they went nuts. Reports say they were drinking from bird baths, chasing chickens, laying under shade trees. An attempted attack on a child and another roommate. All and all, the two fools were participating in some good old fashion tomfoolery. Greg was cited for two counts of K9 without a license.
*Markus Ray was operating an unsafe vehicle without taillights. Oh, his license was suspended. “
Aug. 21
*Crystal Mae Lucas was scooped up for two warrants.
*William Damota was in a hurry to watch The People’s Court, “ten minutes till Wopner.” He was cited for 94 in a 55.
*Something happened and a driveway was involved. The report didn’t say if the driveway was intoxicated.
*Dustin Dutton was cited for driving while suspended and no insurance.
*Hayden Olivares was cited for careless driving.
*Joshua Yost was cited for 69 in a 45.
*Jose Zavala Soria was a little reckless as he was charged with driving under the influence and reckless driving. The report says he was lodged but I gotta ask, lodged? was there free HBO?
*It seems that In Florida you don’t need to have a driver’s license. Maybe you do, but Hailey Marie Donna Leventry was cited for no license and warned for speeding. Guess you need four names in Florida as well.