(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)
Aug. 10
*Maybe it was the meth, who knows, but Robert Dale found himself in trouble at McDonalds.
Wanted on a warrant out of Del Norte for a probation violation Dale was tackled to the ground and put in cuffs. Dale was taken to the JoCo Jail with additional charges of escape 2, possession of meth and resisting arrest.
Aug. 11
*On 6th and B St. a driver was cited for driving while suspended. His father came to drive the vehicle home. Dads, where would we be without them?
*Michael was “extremely hostile” was the description on the incident report. In a neighborly dispute of sorts Michael Smith is alleged to have intentionally decked his neighbor with decking boards. The caller claimed Smith was throwing wood over a fence and struck his female neighbor. When deputies attempted to contact Smith at his residence, he yelled that he didn’t want to talk to deputies and took off in a skid steer. Smith later came back yelling for them to get off his property. It appears that wood can get you into trouble. Smith spent some time at the JoCo Jail when he was charged with menacing 2 and unlawful use of a weapon.
Aug. 13
*Thibault Charvy likes the nomad life. He likes the boat ramp even more as he was charged and received a bed at JoCo Jail for criminal trespass 2. Dude, when the Po Po tell you to leave, leave!
*A caller stated that “Laura was yelling and flipping out” by the trailer she lives in. Laura had been texting the caller’s son, me thinks this is what started it. Anyway, Laura had a court date Aug. 12, where the judge scheduled a trial. Until that time Laura has a no contact order. Getting back to the call, someone took her dogs from a Subaru as she was going to JoCo Jail to be processed. The trip to jail apparently was eventful. The kind deputy pulled over to see if her cuffs needed to be adjusted. Laura Zukowski was charged with disorderly conduct.
*It should be basic logic that if you are on parole, don’t do stupid stuff. David Chaffee was picked up for a parole board warrant for computer lottery violation.
*Mariah T Sommers was cited for driving without a valid operator’s license. Again, if you aren’t legal to drive, stay in your lane and make sure you have plates on your vehicle.
*A typical California driver failed to use the turn signal. Sandra K. Anderson was cited for an unsignaled turn. Pretty sure Cadillac’s have turn signals.
Aug. 14
*Slow down! Buta Uppal was cited for 91 MPH in a 60.
*Skylar Jones had two warrants and then some other stuff. In addition to a felony warrant for escape 3, resisting arrest, giving false information and trespass 2, the knuckled was charged for failing to report as a sex offender. To add insult to injury Jones had an Oregon State Parole Board felony warrant for assault on a peace officer.
*Erin Favre was cited for driving while suspended and uninsured vehicle.
*Buddha, Lily, Lucy, Lucky, Buddy and Hope walk into a bar. Actually, it was a backyard where they terrorized three chickens and a rabbit. Miranda Shute and Lindsey Logan were issued three citations each for failure to license a canine.
*Troy Kidwell was cited for driving while suspended and driving uninsured.
*William Malotte was upset about life in general and his wife barricaded herself in the attic. The caller stated the wife thinks he could kill all of them. Malotte doubled down on that by yelling, “If the police show up it’s going to end poorly. Thankfully it only ended poorly for Malotte. Molotte was charged with harassment – domestic violence and felon in possession of a firearm.
*A wild woman with bags of belongings was harassing people at a gas station. It’s said that she keeps changing her clothes; that’s a woman’s prerogative, right? Well, she left the station and then at some point was wrestled to the ground and held by a man who claimed to make a citizen’s arrest. Short story long, Sabrina Willett aka Sabrina Arrechiga, take your pick, was transported by AMR for injuries that prevented her from walking. Along with a ride to the hospital, Willette/Arrechiga received a citation for theft 3 and unauthorized entry into a motor vehicle.
*Harbir S Mann had the pedal to the metal when he crashed into a gate doing 68 MPH. Actually, good buddy, it was 84 in a 60.
Aug. 15
*Logan Kine was sitting alone in the passenger seat in the ditch off of 199. Allegedly Kine got a little liquored up and decided to sleep it off. Kine was charged for driving under the influence and reckless driving.
*Justin Shelton, Stilke Morefire and Wilson Gabe were cited for one count each for an unlicensed canine.
*Zoey and Bamboo got into a scuffle resulting in the owner’s friend getting bit on the finger.
*Bryan Fitzgerald was camping at Little Falls Campground and got into some trouble. The genius had a fire which caught the attention of law enforcement. Earlier Fitzgerald was noticed driving by forest service personnel. Fitzgerald was given a pillow at the JoCo Jail for driving while suspended – felony and a probation violation detainer.
*Eric Spears was charged with driving while suspended and possession of meth after a deputy noticed an unplated vehicle.