(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)
May 4
(May the fourth be with you.)
*Cody Williamson, 33, was arrested in the 1900 block of Gunnell Rd. due to a Grants Pass Police Department felony warrant for failing to appear on theft charges.
*Few details were given pertaining to a call from the 2900 block of Pearce Park Road. Someone reported a man lying in the middle of the road, but the good news was “he no longer has the shovel.” (What?) Christian Bartell, 28, was booked on a parole violation due to criminal mischief.
*Robert Fine was not feeling fine after getting a speeding ticket for going 30 MPH over the limit at Azalea Dr. and Calvert Drive.
*Kristin Oldham was also given a citation for speeding in the 3700 block of New Hope Road. She may have been rushing some old ham home before it spoiled.
May 5
*At Redwood Hwy. and Helm’s Rd., another speeder was given a warning for putting the pedal to the metal and cited for lack of insurance.
*Someone reported a person sleeping in a car all day in the 400 block of Fir Drive. Deputies arrived and found that Jessica Pitts, 35, had a warrant out for her arrest from the GP Police Department due to a warrant for theft and failure to comply, and was booked in the local jail.
*A Dodge Durango was pulled over at Redwood Hwy. and W. 6th St and the driver was cited for failure to carry insurance.
*Anthony Fortune, 39, did not hit the jackpot after violating his probation for delivering heroin in the 100 block of Dellwood Drive. He might consider a pizza delivery job in the future. Pizza makes people happy, and less “overdosey.”
*A driver was cited for having no license at W. Palmer St. and N. Kerby Avenue.
*Another driver in the 2100 block of Demaray Rd. was popped by the cops for having no valid license, and their invalid license was confiscated.
May 6
*An aggressive dog was reported to have scratched a child near the 800 block of Park Street. They found Hercules’ human under a nearby bridge where they were advised to keep the pup under control.
*Another pooch was on the loose in the 100 block of Demaray Dr., but the owner was the one who got a citation.
*Joseph Bishop, 40, was caught red-handed stealing lumber from a property in the 5000 block of Rogue River Highway. He was charged with trespassing and theft. At least he wasn’t stealing overpriced eggs.
May 7
*Jose Cortez, 29, was given a citation for driving while suspended, and his license was seized at NE Terry Ln. and NE D Street.
*Rell Baty, 43, was arrested for a DUII on Reeves Creek Road.
*A naughty dog jumped the fence on Roguella Lane, and got its human a ticket.
May 8
*At S. Hussey Ave. and W. Lister St., Shelbi Northrup, 33, was driving a flatbed Toyota with no license plates, and was warned for multiple equipment violations and cited for driving while suspended.
*Heaven Jessen, 29, was cited to appear in court in lieu of arrest, and was graciously left at the sobering center after an additional charge of interfering with a peace officer. Thank heaven they weren’t out driving anymore.
*Jeptha Philip Stricklin, 32, was taken into custody with no bail after being caught as a felon in possession. Jeptha apparently sustained an eye injury before the deputies showed up, and opted for “deflection” instead of facing drug charges. Eye don’t know much, but this sounds like a painful and sobering experience.
*A pair of dogs attacked and killed two piglets, rabbits and ducks. It was all caught on video in the 1000 block of Plumtree Lane. Kacy K. Macauley, 39, was held responsible for the K9s.
*A juvenile was cited for careless driving in the 6700 block of Monument Drive. Officers were already on scene, as there was an accident just minutes before. The kid spun his tires right in front of the police, spraying gravel everywhere, and losing traction and control of the vehicle. This child had been previously barred from the parking lot at his high school, but when reminded of his trespass, he stated, “I don’t care,” and waltzed in like he owned the place. He was escorted out of the building and suspended from school.
May 9
*At Redwood Hwy. and Newt Gulch Rd., Duane E. Hansen, 56, got busted for riding a dirt bike on a highway and driving while suspended.
*Ashley Rikard, 41, was taken into jail for failing to appear on a Central Point Police Department warrant for failing to appear on charges of theft. I wish more thieves would fail to appear anywhere.
*Miguel Juarez Santos, 25, was arrested in the 6400 block of Westside Rd. for attempted assault/domestic violence. You’re not very good at assault if you only get an “attempted” charge. It would be great if you stopped attempting these things, Miguel.
*In the 100 block of Hanby Ln., Derek Culver, 54, was detained by deputies for a JoCo warrant from the past for failure to appear on a driving while suspended charge.
*At E. Hanby and N. Old Stage Rd., Timothy Forget, 33, must have forgotten to maintain his giant white Hearse, which is seen broken down almost daily. He was warned for operating an unsafe vehicle and cited for driving while suspended. Hopefully, there were no passengers in the back…you know.