(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)
April 27 to May 1
*Apparently nothing happened in five days in this idyllic little county, or maybe it just wasn’t reported, because I saw some stuff going down.
May 2
*At Caves Hwy. and Laurel Rd., Brian Jones, 54, (not the deceased guitarist of The Rolling Stones) was given a speeding ticket.
*A caller from the 600 block of Cedar Flat Rd. reported that she was worried that a man was going to harm her cats, and he broke her phone in half when she called 911. He left the residence, and she went to a local store to wait for a deputy where a concerned citizen stayed with her in case he returned. Trinon Cirello, 54, was arrested on charges of assault and interfering with making a police report. (One time, I was Trinon a shirt at Fred Meyer, and I had to call for help because I got stuck in it. Sizes are deceiving, that was not a medium.)
*Colton Shults, 29, was arrested on a Josephine County felony warrant for failing to appear for unlawful use of a motor vehicle, as well as a Douglas County felony warrant for criminal mischief and theft.
*In the 3600 block of Lower River Rd., John Lee Davis Jr., 55, was arrested and taken to the jailhouse pertaining to a felony warrant from the OSP parole board for failing to appear on a murder charge, as well as a misdemeanor warrant from Douglas County for failing to appear for offensive littering, and another Douglas Co. misdemeanor warrant for FTA on criminal mischief charges.
*Larceny was the case, and Justin Stout, 48, failed to appear, and was cited to appear in court in lieu of arrest. It was warranted.
May 3
*A concerned caller let authorities know that a man was passed out behind the wheel of a vehicle and covered in vomit. Marco Rivera, 23, did not have a friend holding his hair back while he puked, and was charged with reckless driving and DUII.
*Michael Mather, 48, was detained at taser point in the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy. due to a misdemeanor warrant for trespassing from Curry County. Authorities were unable to transport him due to staffing issues, but he was taken into the JoCo pokey with additional charges of resisting arrest.
*At an unknown location, Cheyenne Abbott, 30, was arrested for a DUII.
*A speedy driver was pulled over at Monument Dr. and Big Pine Dr. when an officer noticed them swerving. It was noted that two tires were completely bald, like your dad.
*Leah Helfrich, 28, flipped her car over in the 300 block of Lakeshore Drive and was charged with a DUII. Her mom was nice enough to drive all the way from Springfield to pick her up.
*At Redwood Hwy. and Newt Gulch Rd., Cole Nerpel, 19, was pulled over for speeding and arrested for DUII. (I promise not to make a purple Nerpel joke.)
*Ernest Cote, 55, called police because a woman supposedly attacked him. He stated that the relationship had been “physical” for quite some time, especially after she has been drinking. Deputies were able to video chat the supposed victim from the 3800 block of Rogue River Hwy., and saw that her face was swollen. Ernie got popped for strangulation, assault, and domestic violence. Another case of someone calling the cops on themselves.
*In the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy., Larry Madden, 66, was seen going various speeds, and cited for inability to maintain his lane, and warned for disorderly conduct.
I guess that’s all for the week, folks! Stay weird, so I still have something to write about.