(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)
April 10
*A man refused to leave a property and was lying in the middle of the road in the 200 block of W River Street. The woman who called police admitted to punching the man after he tried to hit her husband. David Alexander, 65, kept coming back to the property and fell on a fence, breaking it. When deputies showed up, Alexander attempted to kick the deputies and the car door. He was hobbled, (not like in the movie “Misery”) and arrested for attempted assault on a police officer.
*Two drivers in the 6100 block of Cloverlawn Dr. both claimed the other was going down the wrong way and caused an accident, blocking the road. An additional caller said one driver attempted to flee the scene, but couldn’t prove it. A citation was issued to the driver who actually was going the wrong way after deputies did a little forensic field work.
*At Ringuette and River Heights Way, Breanna Nichole Rae, 24, was cited for driving while suspended and warned for having no proof of insurance and expired registration. She did have proof of emails showing she had paid for her registration.
April 11
*A pit bull named Gee-Gee was being naughty chasing children in the 800 block of Schroeder Ln. and she was deemed a public nuisance and a very bad girl.
*John Michael Kavanaugh, 37, was threatening to burn a house down with a child inside in the 17000 block of Redwood Highway. Apparently, Kavanaugh was upset that his ex was cooking meat and wasn’t going to share with him. So, he did the completely sane thing and left on a dirt bike, then came back with a hatchet, threatening to kill everyone. The 911 operator could hear lots of screaming, banging, and someone yelling, “Everyone is dead!” After being arrested on a previous warrant, Kavanaugh repeatedly stated that he was going to kill the person who called police. They must have been some of those fancy hotdogs.
*An ongoing issue of trespass and theft of equipment in the 2200 block of Galice Rd. led to one person ramming a gate. Joshua Brower, 41, Joshua Roberts, 34, and Kelsie L. Tamblin, 29, were trespassed from the property. Unshared meat was not listed as a motive, but I have my suspicions.
April 12
*At an Airbnb in the 4600 block of Redwood Hwy., a fight involving juveniles fueled by meth, mushrooms, alcohol and other drugs was reported to authorities. The minors were given possibly the most uncomfortable and awkward rides home to their understanding and proud parents.
*Robin Denham, 47, was throwing rocks at cars near Demaray Dr. and College Road. She was arrested on criminal mischief and disorderly conduct charges.
*Yet another man was threatening to burn a house down in the 500 block of Caves Highway. Jason Bergstad, 51, was arrested on a stalking order violation. (Maybe everyone hit the meat bonanza at the same time.)
*A gray Chevy Silverado driver noticed a sheriff and tried to avoid them by passing cars at 107 MPH and tried to evade them by going up the dead end Kerby Mainline Road. That genius and wonderful example of a father had an infant in the front of the car with his wife, and other children in the backseat.
*A man told police that he was thrown to the ground and hit over the head with a stool in the 3400 block of Deer Creek Road. James Losey, 26, denied hitting the victim with a rake at first, then admitted to hitting him with possibly both a rake and a stool out of anger. Losey was arrested for failing to appear on a Medford PD felony warrant for unlawful use of a motor vehicle. The rake and stool declined to press charges. Sometimes you win, sometimes you Losey.
*The driver of a white Mazda was cited for speeding on Redwood Hwy. at Lakeshore Drive.
April 13
*No reports.
April 14
*Ryan Cox, 47, was arrested on burglary, criminal trespass x 2, and theft charges on Dell Road. Cox was located in a vehicle out front and was “challenged with presence of a K9 officer.” That now probably seemed like a bad idea.
April 15
*In the 100 King Mountain Trail block, a citation was issued to a human because their dog was off the property.
April 16
*A vehicle with several priors was issued a citation for illegally parking at Galice and Crow Road.
April 17
*Near the 11000 block of Williams Hwy., Rose Turner, 46, was cited for dws and warned for improper display and driving uninsured.
*In the 3500 block of Redwood Hwy. Miyah Weidenback, 25, was given a ticket for dws, and warned for failure to renew registration.
*Another Silverado driver was given a speeding ticket somewhere in Josephine County.
*Larry Lee Warnicke, 72, decided to smash a windshield with a crowbar in the 25000 block of Redwood Highway, and was taken to jail on criminal mischief charges.
*Corey James Elmore, 35, was arrested at the jailhouse in Grants Pass on a warrant charge that was transferred from Jackson County.
*That’s it for this week, folks. Don’t burn anything down or hit people with furniture and/or garden tools, or you could be featured in next week’s police blotter. Stay safe out there!