(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)
Sept. 5
*In the 1900 block of NE F St., a warrant was served to Nicholas Knowles for failure to appear for unlawful entry of a motorized vehicle. I got into a car once at the grocery store that was the same make and model of mine, parked right next to me
*Sean Bryant claimed that the caller to 911 was falsely accusing him of kidnapping and abusing a woman in the 1800 block of NE 7th St. Well, Mr. Brayant, 44, ended up in jail. Tie up your loose ends, Sean. That sounds wrong with the kidnapping charges and such. Don’t tie anything up. It’s just going to look bad. Have you watched Netflix?
Sept. 6
*Some dogs got into some garbage, because they love garbage! You can offer them filet mignon, or some coffee grounds smeared onto a piece of tin foil with some “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” They will choose the tin foil, because they don’t care. They are dogs. There was dump trailer in the 4200 block of Redwood Highway that they got into. The dogs were nice, but Bradley Kline was advised to contain the K9’s, and said he was looking to rehome his sister’s Great Dane, if anyone’s interested.
*Andrea McGrath, 34, was arrested in the 5000 block of Lakeshore Drive on charges of criminal trespass and criminal mischief. Apparently, she attempted to steal gasoline and is also trespassed from Shop Smart. Life goals.
*Everybody who lives at a house in the 200 block of Hasis Drive thought it was safer to lock themselves in a vehicle than deal with a woman who is armed, screaming, and fighting with neighbors. Nicole Hollister, 38, was detained by deputies after they found her pointing a shotgun at a man. Children were taken by their grandfather and DHS was notified. Hollister was arrested on charges of unlawful use of a weapon and menacing.
*Joel Mesman, 47, was taken to the Josephine County Jail on an outstanding warrant for failure to appear for contempt of court. 200 block of Hasis Drive.
*A speedy Mustang driver got popped with a citation in the 1500 block of Williams Highway. Quaid Kelly, 20, needs to back off that accelerator. (No “Mustang Sally” jokes today.)
*Jerry D. Cooper, 62, was rightfully arrested for failing to report as a sex offender and additional charges of assault in the 1500 block of Williams Highway.
Sept. 7
*At a park in the 12100 block of Lower River Road, there was a verbal confrontation which led to the arrest of Nicholas F. Rasmussen, 29, for failure to appear on a felony warrant for burglary.
*A dog whose testicles never descended was complained about for running around the 300 block of Sunny Glen Way. The owner was sorry and said surgery was needed. That poor dog is probably embarrassed.
*A caller said that her neighbor’s dog killed two of her rabbits, but there were no bite marks. There was a collar left in the rabbit pen. The complainant said the bunnies probably died of a heart attack, because Huskies are scary. She also claimed to have lost dozens of rabbits somehow, yet there were a lot of rabbits running loose on the property. Anthony Towers was advised of fencing options and livestock attack process for future reference.
*Ryan Engbretson, 47, was arrested on NW 6th St. for driving while revoked and careless driving, a misdemeanor.
Sept. 8
*Justin Morton, 45, was taken into the county jail for failure to appear on unlawful possession of “marijuana items” and unlawful possession of methamphetamines in the 1900 block of NE F Street.
Sept. 9
*Some hot rods were cited for speeding on both New Hope Road and Rockydale Roads.
Sept. 10
*When you take someone’s car without permission, you might end up in jail like Bronson Coker, 43, who had a warrant, which was served in the 1900 block of NE F Street.
*Speeding in a school zone didn’t work out for Kenneth Hudman, 37, when he got nailed with charges of driving without an ignition interlock device. His car was impounded for not having the blow and go installed.
*A dog complaint was filed in the 1400 block of Brookside Boulevard.
*Somebody was arrested on an outstanding warrant for failure to appear on charges of identity theft and fraudulent use of a credit card on Watkins Street. I wish we were provided with their name. Watch your wallets.
*On Pleasant Valley Road, a biker was cited for having no plates.
*A mother called 911 to report that her grown son had punched her in the face and forced her to the ground. She stated that he had been taking his medication and had no access to weapons. Kirck Harris, 42, was taken into custody in the 21000 block of Caves Highway.
*Carly Jensen was intoxicated in the Shop Smart parking lot and asked to leave again, as she was previously trespassed. Her male friend was also intoxicated and was asked to leave the premises. Carly didn’t check in with her P.O. and was arrested on a parole violation when the sheriff found her at the church parking lot next door on West Watkins.
September 11
*A speedy Gonzales got a ticket on the Grants Pass Parkway and SE M Street.
*Calin Bocock, 39, was nailed for a parole violation on NE F Street.
*A woman in the 100 block of South Kerby Street said her daughter slashed 2 of her tires, which she just got fixed, then slashed another one the next day. When confronted, the daughter admitted to slashing the first 2 tires, but not the second incident. The unnamed daughter was arrested.
*A man on Lincoln Road was cited when his dogs got loose while he was attempting to load them up in the car to go to the dog park, but his wheelchair fell off a ledge. Someone complained that their kids couldn’t have recess if the dogs were loose.
*Two German Shepards, (not mine) attacked a deer, and the owner, Chelsea Jones Navaraez, attempted to save the deer, but it perished while an officer was writing her a citation. 400 block of Three Pines Road.
*In the 700 block of SE 12th St., a person who is fostering a dog was cited because the pup can jump the fence, but they can’t afford to expand the fence.
*A very scared woman called the cops on James Liska, 87, because he was yelling about burning the house down and having a very sharp knife. She locked herself in the trailer while the police made their way to the 2600 block of Fish Hatchery Road where Liska was arrested for menacing charges.
September 12
*A caller decided to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation, but reported that there were dogs on the loose! Three people were cited to appear in court for k-9 licensing issues. Amber Young, Misty Tooker, and Jessica Blake should probably pony up the dog license fees.
*Someone’s wolf-hounds were accused of pooping in a neighbor’s yard and scattering trash. Loren Wissbrod was cited.
*That’s all, folks!