(Editor’s note:
Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)
Aug. 1
*A person only named as “Beverly” was initially contacted because of her three dogs, (though it is unclear if they actually broke the law) in the 300 block of Junction Avenue, but left when the police showed up. The dogs were taken to the animal shelter, but the human was cited and released. Grr…
*In the 2700 block of Lakeshore Drive, a subject known as “Owlsley” was arrested on charges of possessing a short-barreled rifle and, according to police logs, “felon in possession of a forearm.” We’ll go out on a limb and presume they meant “firearm,” hopefully there’s not some weird Jeffrey Dahmer stuff going on.
Aug. 2
*At the intersection of Fish Hatchery Road and Bull Creek, Rylee Charlesworth, 20, was cited for going almost 30 miles an hour over the posted speed limit. Nothing is Charlesworth going that fast.
*Jesse Greer, 46, was arrested on a warrant pertaining to having a concealed knife and failure to appear for eluding. When found in the 200 block of Fruitdale Drive, he was found concealing multiple knives.
*A dog was reported in distress in a vehicle on NE Terry Lane. The pooch had been in the car for about 20 minutes. When officers arrived, they found the dog panting, but not in distress. The owner was advised to leave the dog at home in such extreme temperatures.
*An unnamed person was served the trifecta of charges for possession of meth, possession of fireworks, and driving while suspended. They were cited on Briggs Valley Road.
*An un-plated Hyundai was pulled over for speeding on Merlin Road near Ventura Place.
*At an undisclosed area near a bridge, “Ryan” was booked on charges of possession of meth and theft of services. Her boyfriend, Alexander, said he would watch the dogs and clear out their presumed illegal campground. “Ryan” and “Hanson” are both trespassed from all USFS campgrounds in Josephine County for one year.
*A domestic disturbance report in the 400 block of Lakeshore Drive led to the arrest of Toefna Maeva, 59. According to the caller, her ex had thrown her to the ground and punched her son in the face, causing him to bleed. The subject, who had been drinking, knew the deputies were coming and waited in the driveway for them to cuff him up. Maeva was charged with assault, domestic violence, and harassment.
*Someone was reported that someone in a car parked behind a house was “sitting and staring” with four other people in the car. It turns out that two restraining orders had already been served; one against the complainant, and one against the subject. Both stated that neither one of them were allowed at the residence. Darlene Blount, 44, was arrested for violating a restraining order, but stated she was only there to get her stuff.
*At Mina Lane and W Jones Creek Road, someone swerved to miss a deer and ended up damaging a fence. The female driver was unable to be located, however it did lead to an arrest, and was reported as an accident with injuries. So, which Jane Doe got hurt, and which one ended up in jail?
*Jacob Swinger, 31, was arrested on charges of parole violations for underlying drug charges and a felony warrant, and now reckless driving. Marta Cave, 60, was also arrested and cited on Hidden Valley Road at New Hope. A vehicle was towed.
Aug. 3
*Mark Olson, 62, was popped for using his cell phone while driving. Someone, please tell him they make hands-free options now.
Rebecca Somnis, 36, was found in a residence by the homeowner, who stated she was “scoping out properties,” had stolen a “Truly” alcoholic beverage, but took off before the deputies arrived. They soon caught up with Somnis, who was arrested on burglary and theft charges in the 7700 block of Lower Grey Creek Road. This was “truly” not a good decision on her part. You know you can buy those things at the corner store, right?
*A domestic dispute in the 1000 block of Hays Cut Off Road was reported over a money issue. Someone, “Marisa,” was upset, and threw some dishes, maybe a few plates, even. She was advised to stay inside until LE responded. There was a shotgun involved. It was was a skeet shooting dream. The dishes are done, man!
*Crystal Lucas, 47, was arrested on charges of resisting arrest, and a warrant for a probation violation for eluding the po-po in the 100 block of Redwood Avenue.
*In the 5000 block of S. Redwood Hwy, Charles Murphy the IV, 54, got a DUI.
*Jesse Sandoval, 64, was cited for having no insurance, and driving with a suspended license.
Aug. 5
*Luke Boger, 33, was taken to the pokey after he failed to appear for criminal trespassing in the 1900 block of NE F St.
August 6
*In the 6700 block of Monument Drive, “somebody” was cited for speeding and driving while suspended.
*On Merlin Hill, a driver was ticketed for doing 90 in a 65.
*Another citation was issued to a driver in the 4400 block of Averill Drive, with additional charges of driving while suspended. Why’d ya have to go and make things so complicated, Averill?
*In the 11000 block of Lower River Road, a blue heeler/Australian shepherd mix was caught sneaking out again, and taken to doggie jail. “Bailey” had some flea issues and may have been wounded in the buttock’s region. The owner came to bail Bailey out and explained that their extremely intelligent dog has been opening doors and gates with her paws, then getting out. The pooch is being treated for food allergies, but other than that, it’s a dog’s life.
*A driver was pulled over and warned for speeding, but had no insurance. The driver then stated to the deputy that she “wasn’t supposed to be driving”, then swapped seats with her shotgun rider. The deputy stated that the driver at Redwood Highway and Little Cheyenne Trail was “very honest.”
August 7
*Brendan Haynes, 27, previously charged with contempt of court and domestic violence, was taken into custody after attempting to see his children on Caves Highway, 1300 block.
*Brittanie Bailey, 34, had too much fun at the JoCo Fair, and was charged with a dui and reckless driving at the intersection of Demaray Drive and Jerome Prairie Lane. The rides are enough to make you nauseated, so don’t press your luck.
*Twenty-one-year-old Max M. Darcy, with a suspended license, was going 93 MPH in a 45 MPH zone near New Hope Road and W. Intervale Road. A friend with a valid license and a softer foot took over the reins.
*Arthur M. Miller, 52, was arrested in the 18000 block of Redwood Highway, with “several subjects” involved. Failure to appear for assault was the end result for Mr. Miller, who was planted in the county jail. I never promised you a rose garden.
*An officer couldn’t read the license plates on a red Ford, so they got pulled them over. Subsequently, Daren A McCollum, 44, was cited to appear in the municipal court in Albany, Oregon, for contempt of court.
August 8
*Jon M. Wigelsworth, 46, was issued a citation for driving while suspended on Hanby Lane. Is this really worthy of a “wiggles worth” joke?
*Though the surveillance video footage was unavailable, Martin William Mitchell, 45, was arrested for car theft on Independence Drive at SE Grandview Avenue. He also had a warrant from Jackson County for possession of meth, and a California warrant for contempt and violation of a previous charge.
*The man of the year award goes to Kale Luke who was caught on video lighting paper and throwing it into a dumpster, only to nurture the fire, stoking it with more debris, and walking away. The fire spread to support beams on the porch of a local business, located in the 200 block of South Redwood Highway. The damage to the dumpster was estimated at several hundred dollars, but the damage to the biz was well over $1,000. Kale Luke is interred at the county jail on charges of arson and criminal mischief. If you have to be evacuated again due to fires nearby, Mr. Luke isn’t helping, and a few of us may frown upon his actions.
*A motorist was cited for having no registration on his truck that was towing a trailer in the 7200 block of Williams Highway. Tony E. Martinez, 66, was also cited for driving while suspended.