Tales from the Rural Patrol

(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)

*Publisher’s Note: For decades, Illinois Valley News has published our unique version of the log entries from Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. Tales from the Rural Patrol kept the community informed and doled out public floggings via satire. Technology has changed the process. Log entries with the new JCSO reporting system are now limited to citations and arrests.

April 6
A fed-up man reported that his bi-polar female neighbor had spray-painted “F** you” and other obscenities on the side of his house. The woman was also banging on his walls and throwing rocks, while laughing and screaming. She also stacked fencing materials against the man’s residence attempting to trap him inside. Vicki Yount was arrested and taken to the JoCo jail on charges of criminal mischief III.

April 7
*An unnamed individual hit a guardrail twice before flipping his vehicle at milepost 6 on Stratton Creek Road. Upon arrival, first responders found the seemingly intoxicated man calling out for his dog. He did not appear to be injured, but was taken into custody. They were unable to locate his dog “Daisy,” a white Mastiff.
April 8
*Teddy Peckham III was cited and released on accusations of theft involving 4 ION microphones and a Stihl 311 chainsaw. The caller stated that Peckham had posted the items for sale on Facebook Marketplace. Apparently, the reporting person didn’t “like” his post.
*A caller reported an intoxicated man had taken his clothes off and jumped on top of his vehicle while screaming and yelling. He was spotted walking down Old Redwood Highway with his shorts down to his knees, giving an unwanted free show to the public. Adam Brennan was escorted to the jailhouse on charges of disorderly conduct.

April 11
*A woman in Grants Pass reported a neighbor’s four French bulldogs and a husky came onto her father’s property and bit her on the leg, as well as biting her dog. She believed their rabies vaccinations had expired, but did not want to press charges. She was advised to call back with photos of the canines if they returned, and the owner could possibly be cited.
*Gabriel Feliciano was arrested on charges of theft and criminal trespass after stealing a bottle of wine at Shop Smart. When confronted by an employee, Feliciano got physical with them and left the premises. He was found across the street at the Methodist church by law enforcement. This was not the first time he had been caught stealing from the Cave Junction store, and was trespassed for one year. “Life is a cabernet…”
*After an officer noticed a vehicle surrounded by garbage parked in the Credit Union lot for quite some time and advised a man that he had one hour to remove his belongings from the premises. He and another person were trespassed from the property for 30 days. Michael Jack Higgins was subsequently jailed for failure to register as a sex offender. He was given credit where credit was due.
*Jonathon R. Pool was issued a citation for having a potentially dangerous dog after a previous report of a dog bite. He stated that “Nightmare” was not his dog, and was waiting for the owner to pick the canine up. Sounds like a bad dream.
*Joshua Hunt was taken into custody on a warrant for assault.
*Raymond Satterfield and Ryan Crisel were both arrested on charges of burglary and trespassing. No further information was provided.