Tales from the Rural Patrol

(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)

Sunday, March 5
*A fellow claimed he did not intend to burn down a house in the 2000 block of Lone Mountain Road at 7:30 a.m. His logic was matchless – he started a fire in the bathroom sink/bathtub to keep warm with a foot of snow outside.

Monday, March 6
*A stolen van was returned to the owner, but several other items were still missing from the 1400 block of Reeves Creek Road at 9:15 a.m. The list includes three generators, three chainsaws, and a lot of Snap-on tools.
*Hostile housing-challenged folks broke a lockbox cover to plug into an electrical outlet at Western Plaza at midnight.
*On March 4 at 6:30 a.m., a young-sounding guy wrestled two 18-packs of beer from an employee at Fast Break in the 200 block of N. Redwood Hwy. Surveillance video showed that the masked man dropped most of the brew. A report was filed for third-degree robbery/theft.
*Residents in the 5200 block of Rockydale Road were warm and had food and water at 1:21 p.m. However, they had been homebound for four days with no access to internet. They were provided with contact information for snow removal services.
*At 6:56 p.m. a customer went to WaFd Bank in the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy. The ATM took the deposit of $1,060, then issued a receipt that said there was an issue.
*Money and a Smith & Wesson handgun were taken from a motorhome in the 200 block of S. Old Stage Road at 7:25 p.m.
*Cries for help in the 1100 block of Naue Way were from a man who fell in the snow at 8:06 p.m. A passerby rendered assistance.
*At 9:46 p.m. a fellow should have weighed his options before he tried to recover his 1985 Chevy cabover from a gal with a Mossberg 12-gauge shotgun near Selma Scales. Yost was cited to appear at Josephine County Circuit Court (JCCC) April 6 for unauthorized use of vehicle (UUV). There was probable cause for charges against McKienney for UUV and felon in possession of weapon.

Tuesday, March 7
*At 1 a.m. a destructive individual cut a hole in the metal roof of the trash enclosure at Grocery Outlet in Cave Junction.
*A mooch was supposed to help a gal pay her rent in the 100 block of Holton Creek Road. Instead, he took $600 worth of power tools and $400 from her food stamp card. Then to top it off, he tried to break in through her window and threatened to kill her at 10:11 p.m. Tough guy retreated on a blue bicycle after she said she would hit him.

Wednesday, March 8
*At 10:17 a.m. a resident in the 3700 block of Takilma Road was harassed by a younger fellow in a gray station wagon who accused him of instigating a pot bust that ruined his life.
*A John Deere tractor was last seen on property in the 23300 block of Redwood Hwy. Feb. 20. The front loader with field tiller back was missing at 12:33 p.m. A report was filed for UUV.
*Two fuel tanks, a parts washer, and a pressure washer were no longer where they should have been in the 4900 block of Lakeshore Drive at 12:53 p.m.

Thursday, March 9
*A concerned citizen heard scanner communications regarding an incident in the 500 block of Terrace Heights Drive. At 2:55 p.m. the helpful human claimed he could respond and handle the situation, but his offer was declined.

Friday, March 10
*The owner of a gray 2005 Ford F150 thought it was stolen from the 900 block of Old Hwy. 99 at 9:30 a.m. It was towed away from the park where he had been evicted.
*At 2 p.m. a possible money laundering situation involved a resident in Cave Junction, with money orders mailed to recipients in West Virginia and Utah.
*Two residents at Secret Trailer Park reported hearing a woman crying and screaming hysterically for help at 9:46 p.m.
*Angela Marie Newlun had a misdemeanor warrant for failure to appear (FTA) for driving while suspended/revoked. Newlun was arrested near the 200 block of N. Redwood Hwy. at 11:19 p.m. and detained in Josephine County Jail (JCJ).

Saturday, March 11
*A large bald fellow and a thin shorter female with long multi-colored hair entered Illinois Valley Building Supply at 5:14 p.m. March 6. They told employees a sob story about their unhealthy dog, then proceeded to pocket more than $100 in pet supplies without paying.
*A reported disturbance in the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy. at 10:52 p.m. turned out to be a lone houseless man yelling at himself.
*Techno-kids in the 300 block of Merlot Drive contacted 911 five times using different phones at 11:49 p.m.