Tales from the Rural Patrol

(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)

Sunday, Dec. 25
*A gal reported the sighting of her missing vehicle twice near Hogue Drive and Redwood Hwy. At 3:10 p.m. she was warned for misuse of 911, so she stated that she would phone Oregon State Police (OSP) instead. She was advised that this was not within OSP jurisdiction.

Monday, Dec. 26
*At 11:48 a.m. a home in the 1400 block of Arrowhead Drive was ransacked, and two shipping containers were broken into. A silver-colored 1990 Lincoln Town car with a carriage top was missing. The burglar left behind a backpack that contained ammunition.
*Two hotheads fought over a hose and water for coffee at 2:52 p.m. in the 500 block of Beebe Drive.

Wednesday, Dec. 28
*A hospital patient stated that she had been punched in the head near the 1700 block of Lone Mountain Road at 3:38 a.m.

Thursday, Dec. 29
*Money, jewelry, a Buddy heater, and many random articles were said to have been stolen from the 23800 block of Redwood Hwy. between Oct. 9 and Dec. 29.

Tuesday, Dec. 27
*A resident in the 400 block of Addison Lane claimed that more than $1,000 worth of items were taken from her home at 11:55 a.m. Her woo-woo stash consisted of essential oils, crystals, beads, and items from her guitar. The enlightened gal notified 911 at 12:25 p.m. that she found her stuff, it was not stolen, just somewhere she did not expect it to be.

Friday, Dec. 30
*At 9:06 a.m. a very skinny gal in a purple jacket was cursing, screaming, and flinging frying pans at vehicles in the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy. Crystal Lucas was warned for disorderly conduct.
*Hali Feldman was charged with domestic violence menacing, unlawful use of weapon, and pointing a firearm at another following a disturbance in the 3100 block of Lakeshore Drive at 9:07 p.m. Feldman was detained in Josephine County Jail.

Saturday, Dec. 31
*There have been numerous recurrences of audible alarms from the fridge doors at Grocery Outlet in Cave Junction.
*Several reports were received regarding gunshots and fireworks throughout Illinois Valley. Happy New Year!

Sunday, Jan. 1
*Elijah Polk was arrested following a disturbance in the 1800 block of Laurel Road at 2:01 a.m. Polk was detained in Josephine County Jail (JCJ) for domestic violence menacing.
*A Google phone was delivered to an out of state address and fraudulently charged to a hacked account, according to a resident in the 900 block of Naue Way at 11:05 a.m.
*An elderly woman was deceased in the 5000 block of Takilma Road at 8:46 p.m.

Monday, Jan. 2
*A gal complained that an employee grabbed her wrist and refused to let her microwave her food at 12:36 a.m. She forgot to mention that it was her own meal, not something that was purchased at CJ Gas Station Car Wash. Angela Marie Newlun had a misdemeanor warrant from JCSO for failure to appear (FTA) for misdemeanor driving while suspended (DWS), so she was cited to appear in Josephine County Circuit Court (JCCC) Feb. 9.

Tuesday, Jan. 3
*At 10:46 a.m. an individual claimed that a ‘crappy’ foreign phone died just when it was needed the most. A fellow high on bath salts or meth was experiencing a psychotic break and struck a vehicle with a large ax handle while it was parked by Department of Motor Vehicles in Cave Junction.
*While a man was incarcerated, several items were stolen from a shop in the 8800 block of Deer Creek Road, according to a report at 5:48 p.m. Eight chainsaws, drills, table and circular saws, screwdrivers and sanders were missing. An older blue service truck with welder and generator also disappeared.

Wednesday, Jan. 4
*The chintzy driver of a maroon Lincoln Navigator paid for an eyeliner that she shoplifted from the 300 block of S. Redwood Hwy. at 10 a.m., but she neglected to pony up for the shaver worth $5.99. A report was filed for third-degree theft.

Thursday, Jan. 5
*An alert citizen spotted a stolen blue utility truck behind a gate in the 3900 block of Caves Hwy. at 2:46 p.m. An orange Toyota truck was also seen on the squatter property. The vehicles were recovered and towed.
*April Renae Stevens had a misdemeanor warrant from JCSO for FTA for third-degree theft. Stevens was arrested in the 3900 block of Caves Hwy. at 4:36 p.m., then released and cited to appear in JCCC Feb. 1.

Friday, Jan. 6
*A report was filed for third-degree theft after a fellow ran off with a box of clothes from Illinois Valley Senior Thrift Store at 9:49 a.m.
*Jack Duke was in possession of meth and a scale when he was arrested near S. Kerby Avenue and W. Lister Street at 1:59 p.m. Coos County Sheriff’s Office held a warrant for probation violation on an original charge of possession of meth. Jackson County Sheriff’s Office wanted Duke for FTA for unlawful possession of meth and giving false information to police officer. Duke was also wanted by JCSO for FTA for giving false information to police officer. In a TMI (too much information) moment, Duke admitted that he sold meth to make money. He was rewarded for his honesty by being detained in JCJ.
*A shop in the 31200 block of Redwood Hwy. was broken into Dec. 15, 2022, according to a report at 5:09 p.m. Missing items include an electric ARC furnace, controls and transformer, two electric motors, a Westinghouse transformer with copper cables and a custom woodstove.
*A fellow in the 24300 block of Redwood Hwy. stated that folks stole his food stamp card and his steak at 11:01 p.m.

Saturday, Jan. 7
*At midnight a black Toyota with a lumber rack and broken windshield was taken from the 5000 block of Lakeshore Drive.
*A gal in the 400 block of Squaw Mountain Road cried because a fellow tossed an onion on her porch at 1:52 p.m.
*A white 1999 Ford F250 pickup was borrowed from the 1800 block of Lone Mountain Road, then found near the 25200 block of Redwood Hwy. along with a black 2006 Harley Davidson. When the owner went to retrieve his vehicle, it vanished again.