Tales from the Rural Patrol

(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)

Sunday, Nov. 13
*A half-dressed gal was sitting inside a Nature Preserve near the 400 block of Pine Cone Drive at 4:39 p.m. The topless trespasser said she couldn’t find her way back to Cave Junction.

Monday, Nov. 14
*Chain saws and related tree-trimming and removal equipment were stolen from several Asplundh trucks that were parked near Airport Drive, according to a report at 6:41 a.m. The thieves left behind a bolt cutter and other items.

Tuesday, Nov. 15
*A silver-colored van was parked near Dairy Queen in the 200 block of Redwood Hwy. at 1:03 a.m. The driver wasn’t waiting for a blizzard, he was using their wi-fi.
*An elderly man was deceased in the 900 block of Hays Cutoff at 5:29 a.m.
*At 7:30 a.m. an abandoned Nissan Rogue was crashed into a ditch and power pole. The motorist was unaware that she needed to notify law enforcement until she reported the incident to her insurance company. She believed ice on the roadway hampered her ability to stop near Waldo Road and O’Brien Road at 11:30 p.m. on Nov. 14.
*Jeffrey James Castle Bryant was taken into custody at 1:01 p.m. near the 100 block of S. Kerby Avenue. Bryant had a misdemeanor warrant from Josephine County Sheriff’s Office (JCSO) for two counts each of animal abandonment and second-degree animal neglect. He was released and cited to appear in Josephine County Circuit Court (JCCC) on Dec. 7.

Wednesday, Nov. 16
*A cynical but wise citizen in the 300 block of S. Kerby Avenue purchased a Polaris Ranger from sellers that did not have a title, so he contacted JCSO at 12:42 p.m. to verify that the Ranger was legal. He was in luck, there were no reports for unauthorized use of that vehicle (UUV).
*A vulture grabbed a patient’s debit card as he was loaded into an ambulance from the 400 block of Naue Way. Documents and receipts were provided to JCSO, and the card was returned at 3:24 p.m., but the low-life refuses to make amends for the fraudulent purchases.
*A red-haired transient was shooting up near the 200 block of E. Lister Street at 5:11 p.m. The witness didn’t know the druggie’s name, but said he hangs out by Dairy Queen and is always being arrested. (That sure narrows it down.)

Thursday, Nov. 17
*A gray DeRuiz electric bike and a Stihl backpack leaf blower were taken from a porch and bathroom in the 1000 block of Laurel Road between 11 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. on Nov. 16. A report was filed for first-degree theft.
*Two braniacs were seen running through a bog area after they wedged a silver-colored Dodge Ram 1500 between two trees near Udee Road and O’Brien Road at 12:37 p.m.
*Diane Sheldon had a felony warrant from JCSO for two counts of identity theft and second-degree theft. Sheldon was arrested in the 24100 block of Redwood Hwy. at 2:28 p.m. and detained in Josephine County Jail (JCJ).
*Pamela Boone was charged with harassment following a disturbance in the 500 block of S. Redwood Hwy. at 9:47 p.m. Boone was cited to appear in JCCC on Dec. 22.

Friday, Nov. 18
*At 12:46 p.m. a resident in the 700 block of Althouse Creek Road took his wheelbarrow to the store to get gas and chicken feed. He was irate when his neighbor took chicken feed from his trailer, so he screamed and swore at JCSO dispatchers. He was warned for misuse of 911 and advised of civil options.

*Israel James Hopper was arrested at 1:05 p.m. near the 4400 block of Waldo Road. Jackson County Sheriff’s Office wanted Hopper for a felony warrant for failure to appear (FTA) for felon in possession of a firearm. JCSO held a felony warrant for FTA for possession of controlled substance (PCS) meth. Hopper was detained in JCJ on the warrants, and a report was filed for felon in possession of firearm and first-degree theft.
*A guy received a picture of a truck parked in the 200 block of S. Caves Avenue at 3:11 p.m. He believed it was his stolen pickup truck because it had the same windshield crack, but it was painted a different color. At 4 p.m. he tracked the truck to the 200 block of S. Junction Avenue and was convinced, but when he checked the vehicle identification number at 4:43 p.m., it was not a match.

Saturday, Nov. 19
*A white 2007 Honda Accord was upside down in a ditch in the 1500 block of Lone Mountain Road at 6:03 p.m.