Tales from the Rural Patrol

(Editor’s note: Factual information for ‘Tales’ is provided by the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office. All persons listed are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Charges can be amended or dismissed.)

Sunday, Oct. 9
*Raucous individuals in a small gray truck bragged about having a pistol, then shots were heard when they drove away from the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy. at 2:08 a.m. Rowdy Stone was charged with driving under the influence of intoxicants (DUII) and detained at Grants Pass Sobering Center. Stone was cited to appear at Josephine County Circuit Court (JCCC) on November 10. Scott Kern was detained in Josephine County Jail (JCJ) for unlawful use of weapon and recklessly endangering. Two firearms were seized for evidence.
*A tough guy on a bicycle threatened an employee in the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy. at 2:56 a.m. The psycho cyclist returned at 5:13 a.m., but it was unclear whether his chrome handgun was real or a BB gun.

Monday, Oct. 10
*A skinny guy in a brown/grey sports jacket waved a chrome pistol, then pedaled away on a BMX sport bike near the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy. at 7:54 a.m.
*Robert Allen White, Jr. was detained in JCJ following an incident in the 100 block of Smith Sawyer Road at 8:57 p.m. White was charged with harassment and felony fourth-degree domestic assault.
*A high-speed pursuit near Redwood Hwy. and Wild Park Lane ended with the arrest of Taiowa Clouser at 10:45 p.m. Clouser was detained in JCJ for felony attempt to elude and reckless driving.

Tuesday, Oct. 11
*Logs not available

Wednesday, Oct. 12
*A resident in the 28200 block of Redwood Hwy. lost an Umpqua bank debit card, but didn’t notice until Oct. 11. By then the funds in that account were depleted.
*At 3:43 p.m. a gal in the 200 block of Logan Cut Drive found a piece of dirty blond/red dreadlock in her backyard. Since she had issues with her dreadful neighbor with similar hair, she notified Josephine County Sheriff’s Office (JCSO). She learned that they do not have the ability to match hair to the owner. (Voodoo doll?)
*Citizens restrained a guy, 40s, in a black shirt and gray pants after he beat a dog in the 200 block of W. Watkins Street. A Shop Smart customer rescued the canine at 4:09 p.m. When JCSO arrived at 4:42 p.m. the crowd had dispersed.

Thursday, Oct. 13
*A brown-haired gal in leggings and an oversized puffy jacket sat outside a home in the 200 block of S. Junction Avenue at 4:19 a.m. The residents disagreed with her delusion that she lived at their house.
*At 4:19 a.m. a man from the 1700 block of Lone Mountain Road reported that his daughter was being harassed by a fellow she met online through Snapchat and Tinder. He traveled from Eugene, they hung out once, but things didn’t work out. The gallant gent wanted to be reimbursed for gas and half the food bill from their date. She blocked the determined dude on Snapchat and Instagram, so he switched to Facebook. She was advised to keep written notes and screen shots, and make online reports when he contacts her.
*A camper with standards wanted other transients removed because they littered and messed up his area on Bureau of Land Management property in the 5000 block of West Side Road at 4:22 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 14
*Cameras were spray painted, and an outbuilding was broken into Sept. 25 at Sparetime Supply Distribution in the 30300 block of Redwood Hwy. overnight Oct. 14, the surveillance hard drive was taken from a mechanic shop. Several items were stolen, including a white 2004 Chevy Duramax flat-bed truck, toolboxes, a Miller generator, an air compressor, and Jeep lights.
*Property owners discovered a gate with a double padlock across their driveway, and a trailer, car, and a yurt on their land near Lakeshore Drive and Reeves Creek Road at 9:56 a.m. They were advised on the criminal eviction process.
*At 1:52 p.m. a theft was reported from the 2400 block of Reeves Creek Road. Missing items include a 2008 Kawasaki quad, two water tanks, two computers, a Stihl chainsaw, and an ocean fishing pole. The worm also took a Dodge truck.
*Two white five-gallon buckets filled with hand tools were removed from a residence in the 7200 block of Caves Hwy. at 5:10 p.m.
*A character in the 4400 block of Dick George Road phoned 911 at 5:24 p.m. He just wanted JCSO to know that he didn’t do it. (Sure.)

Saturday, Oct. 15
*On Oct. 14 at 6:10 p.m. a gal groomed herself at Taylor’s Country Store. The sassy lass stole a shirt, bathed in their rest room, then sanitized by pouring table bleach on herself.
*It was unclear why a mumbling man in a gray jacket carried two windshields away from Precision Glass at 6:59 p.m.