Tales from the rural patrol

Sunday, June 5

*A Mercury outboard motor was taken from a boat in the 100 block of Lone Mountain Road, according to a report at 10:59 a.m. A report was filed for first-degree theft.

*A gray Ford F250 Super Duty pickup truck with a dead battery was last seen parked in the 7200 block of Rockydale Road on June 2 or 3. The registered owner reported the theft at 2:46 p.m., and a stolen vehicle report was emailed to him.

*Some dunce broke into the Grimmett Schoolhouse at Kerbyville Museum in the 24100 block of Redwood Hwy. on the night of June 4. A window was broken, and a kerosene lamp and books were tossed on the ground.

Monday, June 6

*A report was filed for second-degree criminal mischief after a window was shattered at Cave Junction City Hall in the 200 block of W. Lister Street between 5:30 p.m. on June 3 and 7:30 a.m. on June 4.

*At 3:13 p.m. a fellow was released from prison, only to find that his maroon 2007 Chevy Silverado had been stolen from the 2000 block of Laurel Road while he was incarcerated.

*A clever gal in the 1200 block of Dick George Road tracked her stolen Bosch OBT scanner diagnostic tool, then retrieved it at 3:51 p.m.

*A wallet was left in a restroom in the 100 block of S. Redwood Hwy. on June 4, then reported missing on June 6.

*As of 7:39 p.m. the Google password ploy failed, and the guy in the 3900 block of Rockydale Road still needs to provide ownership paperwork to Josephine County Sheriff’s Office (JCSO) to file a stolen vehicle report.

Tuesday, June 7

*The saga of the stolen vehicle in the 3900 block of Rockydale Road continued, as a bill of sale was not sufficient documentation to prove rightful ownership at 9:04 a.m. To make matters worse, the registered owner lives out of the country. (Stay tuned.)

*Dog owners in the 5400 block of Rockydale Road were cited for failure to procure canine licensing at noon. To make matters worse, their cattle dog tried to bite a deputy’s leg, so another citation was written for canine as a public nuisance (potentially dangerous dog).

*At 2:43 p.m. a stubborn trespasser in the 200 block of W. Watkins Street refused to identify himself, so the deputy snapped his photo for future reference.

*Evicted tenants threatened to sabotage a septic tank in the 24500 block of Redwood Hwy. at 6:20 p.m. (What a shoddy thing to do.)

*There was a discrepancy between squatter vs. tenant’s rights in the 100 block of O’Brien Road at 6:43 p.m.

Wednesday, June 8

*Robert Blasé continued his shenanigans, disturbing and harassing customers in the 200 block of S. Redwood Hwy. at 9:24 a.m.

*Students at Lorna Byrne Middle School started their field day at 9:50 a.m. by finding needles on the track. Homeless individuals camping nearby had already been warned to vacate the property by June 6 but did not comply. The property owner signed a trespass letter of consent, and the cling-ons were given three days to move on.

*Scavengers cut ropes and took items from tipis in the 100 block of Lone Mountain Road, per a report at 11:09 a.m.

*Michael Higgs was detained in Josephine County Jail (JCJ) following his arrest at Jubilee Park at 11:30 a.m. Higgs had two felony warrants from JCSO for failure to appear (FTA) for felony and misdemeanor elude, reckless endangerment, misdemeanor driving while suspended (DWS), third-degree escape, and probation violation for felony elude.

*A resident in the 33200 block of Redwood Hwy. complained that her trees were being skinned, and she wanted to know why ‘they’ weren’t arrested at 12:41 p.m.

*At 1:48 p.m. a citizen in the 4100 block of Deer Creek Road returned from vacation and realized her home had been burglarized.

*A fellow in the 6800 block of West Side Road whined because he was banned from the Cave Junction Farmers’ Market at 2:20 p.m. The demonstrator wanted to know what he was legally allowed to do to protest, then inquired about parking for his mission. 

*Timothy Rain Davis was arrested at 3:56 p.m. in the 200 block of Caves Hwy. for first-degree trespass and third-degree theft. Davis was detained in JCJ.

Thursday, June 9

*Brainiacs fled after they ditched a flaming 2006 Chevy Cobalt at Cave Junction 76 Gas Station Car Wash at 10:40 a.m. One employee suffered from smoke inhalation. The fire may have been caused by oil leaking onto an exhaust pipe.

*The fellow from the 3900 block of Rockydale Road finally recovered his truck, but his wallet, keys and stereo were still missing at 5:07 p.m. His ex said she held onto the personal items so they would not get stolen, and she would return them through a third-party.

Friday, June 10

*At 10:36 a.m. an individual claimed that buckets of valuable coins worth $20-30,000 were removed from his vault in Cave Junction.

*A homeless person was smoking, drinking beer, leaving trash and human waste everywhere, then sleeping under a porch in the 24300 block of Redwood Hwy. The property owner was advised to complete a trespass letter of consent and post ‘no trespassing’ signs, but she already tried that method, and it didn’t work.

*Four trespassers in the 200 block of Lamont Way were confronted at 5:10 p.m. One phoned a friend, spoke in Spanish, and instructed him to say he was the landowner to give permission for them to be on the property. The pendejo didn’t realize that the reporting party was able to translate every word.

*A white 1998 Toyota 4Runner crashed 20-50’ over a cliff near Swinging Bridge Illinois River Trailhead at 9:44 p.m. Three people were walking on the main road, but the 4Runner appeared unoccupied.

Saturday, June 11

*A concerned citizen reported a man holding a semi-automatic rifle near Ken Rose Lane and Redwood Hwy. at 5:11 p.m.